FLATshoes

9:42 pm

my laptop speaker's playing Blank & Kytt's Sun Shy while the sky speaker's playing huge huge raindrops. It's pouring out there, perfect weather to cuddle and sail away to dreamland.

In my bed, laptop on my lap, typing. Sister and her boyfriend are here too, lyin around in bed doing nothing. Comfortable enough, though there are some urges to do something but I have no idea what "some" thing is. Sheeshh..

"Do I have to keep up the pace

To keep you satisfied"

Do I? Do I? Listening to The Xx, digesting every lyric they're singing.

Anyway, FINALLY, I pass my thesis defense. Disappointment, the result is. I should've seen it coming, I know the consequences, the risk that I'm taking yet why am I still vurnerable about it? Regret always comes late don't they.

You might wonder why i titled this post 'FLATshoes', that's what I've been feeling lately. F-L-A-T and I badly need some new shoes.

In my thoughts, I would be smiling widely, happy and relieved after I graduate but like I said, it's-in-my-thoughts. What is this feeling? Why am I not happy nor sad? Why am I not feeling anything? Plus, I realized, now after there's no classroom to attend, I'm entering what they called 'the real world'. To earn what you need and what you want. Am I ready? To make million efforts for the things I desire in life?

Fantasy - The Xx #nowplaying

//Fantasy. Dream.

To build my own house with my own design by the age of 27. Could I achieve it? We'll see.

"Maybe I had said, something that was wrong

Can I make it better, with the lights turned on"

I would like to talk to you, to ask things instead of assuming. But I'm afraid you might get offended or else since I tried earlier to ask you few things but you didn't respond it very well. I'm getting tired of the scenario but on the other side I still want to play my role. Tired. Gggrrr. Hhhh.

10:11 pm

"You mean that much to me

And it's hard to show

Gets hectic inside of me

When you go

Can I confess these things

To you

Well I don't know

Embedded in my chest

And it

Hurts to hold"

"Night time

Sympathize

I've been working on

White lies

So I'll tell the truth

I'll give it up to you

And when the day come

It will have all been fun

We'll talk about it soon"

"And I couldn't spill my heart

My eyes gleam

Looking in from the dark

I walk out in stormy weather

Hope my words keep us together

Steady walking but bound to trip

Should release but just tighten my grip"

The Xx is reading my entire mind. Nice.