I know what I want. Its just.. I don't know how to achieve it. I also know, that eventually, I'll achieve it. But I'm a person with lack of patience and I'm dying, I'm eager to know every answer to my question, my curiosity as soon as possible. It is wrong. Once again, there's a process in everything.
And it related to the fact that I get easily bored with something that sticks too long.
Have you ever felt that you are not satisfied completely with the person you've become? I'm just not happy with myself right now. I know people change and they evolve, I know that I do too. But I want it now, as soon as possible. Damn it, process. So damn hard. Damn you, impatience.
I found a quote the other day and couldn't agree more. It said "Why is 'patience' a virtue? Why can't 'hurry the fuck up' be a virtue?". I smiled when I read it. You can't get everything you want, that's a fact. People learn to deal with things they don't like and learn to get use to it so they can live the life the way it supposed to, to connect with other people and make a civilization works.
I want to be known for my work. Well, who doesn't?
There's this photographer, Ryan Kenny. He's 19 years old and his work has been published in i-D and Oyster magazine. He is freakin' 19 years old. I'm 23 and jobless. Perfect.
What I want right now, is a career. I want to write and taking photographs. I want to study other culture and experience them. I want to actually enjoy, love, embrace what I do and get paid. That's what I want right this moment. This year. 2012, that is my main resolution.
I can't do it without You.
Could You somehow make way for me to achieve my dream?
I know I'm not giving my all to worship You.
This I got to fix. I need to keep things balance, right?
I need You.